Read PART 1 here
PART 2 - How can we take back control?
We have established that anxiety is our body going into ‘fight or flight’ mode, but when we start believing that we have no control over the situation and external sources are responsible for our circumstances, we begin to feel helpless. This helplessness can, in turn, become depression as we tell ourselves, why bother if we cannot control the situation. While some anxiety is good and motivates us to take action, the helpless and subsequent depression restricts us. The elderly and those living alone are more susceptible to this helplessness and the youth have a great opportunity to step up and motivate them. We can control this anxiety with feelings that we are doing something and prevent ourselves from feeling helpless and in turn getting depressed. Here I repeat the importance of guided relaxation and meditation to aid us through.
PART 2 - How can we take back control?
We have established that anxiety is our body going into ‘fight or flight’ mode, but when we start believing that we have no control over the situation and external sources are responsible for our circumstances, we begin to feel helpless. This helplessness can, in turn, become depression as we tell ourselves, why bother if we cannot control the situation. While some anxiety is good and motivates us to take action, the helpless and subsequent depression restricts us. The elderly and those living alone are more susceptible to this helplessness and the youth have a great opportunity to step up and motivate them. We can control this anxiety with feelings that we are doing something and prevent ourselves from feeling helpless and in turn getting depressed. Here I repeat the importance of guided relaxation and meditation to aid us through.
If you are a parent with children at home it is very important that you remain calm and assertive. An anxious parent makes for anxious children. A scared leader equates a fearful household while an alert parent means a cautious and responsive household. It is natural to feel worried and want to speak with someone, but do so in private and not in the presence of young ones.
Explain and reassure children that they are at the lowest risk and being somewhat young and healthy parents, so are we. The reason for isolation is not because we are at risk but so that we do not catch the virus and contaminate others. Movements aren’t restricted because of fear but to prevent transmission of germs to those who are at higher risk. By staying away, we help fight the virus. This entrusts children to feel more in control and contributing towards a solution rather than being powerless over these circumstances. Children are looking at us for guidance and we want them to feel empowered not incapable.
No social distancing. Though we keep hearing the term “social distancing,” these days, we humans are social beings and have a higher need to connect with others, especially in the current situation to reassure ourselves that we are okay. Therefore, social and emotional distancing should increase and physical distancing should be completely reduced. Get in touch with friends and family, ask how they are, listen to what they have to say. Make the most of the technology available and encourage children to do the same. Use video calling apps to not only hear but also see how others are doing; help children connect on social media with family members or others who may be old or live alone on a daily basis. This will give them a purpose and sense of being a part of the solution, it will also go a long way in building empathy. Lead by example.
Give your life a structure. As we are stuck at home for an indefinite period, give this period some structure. It is not a holiday, the more we follow a set schedule the easier it will be to cope. Wake up and sleep at roughly the same time, have meals as scheduled, assign fixed hours for work, study, play and most importantly exercise and practice relaxation. This isolation is the perfect opportunity to explore that ‘quality time’ we were too busy for earlier. Play games, cook, exercise together. Parents can help children with their online schooling, understand better how the children are studying and learn new concepts from them. Adjust the time table from before but keep the fixed hours.
Learn new things. Take up online courses to study something you always wanted to or anything new that interests you. Take this opportunity to learn that musical instrument you were keen on or maybe explore more origami options, anything is possible with the internet
Limit news intake. While the news can give us the information required, keeping it on all the time increases our anxiety. Chances are, there won’t be much change in the news from morning to evening. Therefore, restrict the number of times and the amount you watch or hear to maybe twice a day for half an hour each on scheduled time. Follow it up with something light and relaxing, preferably a comedy. Avoid reading and forwarding messages regarding the virus at all costs unless from a verified source.
To end the coping techniques, I stress again on guided relaxation or meditation every single day. The importance and benefits of relaxation are immense. It reduces negative emotions, energizes and regulates the mind and body, improves brain function, corrects disturbed sleep patterns and reduces anxiety.
Guided meditation for relaxation, progressive muscle relaxation and guided relaxation techniques are all easily available on the internet. Search, download and begin today. Engage the entire household in this. It is imperative that we learn to relax the mind and body so that we don’t suffer from the negative effects of this isolation and unknown future.
I’ll sum up with a quote by noted physicist Marie Curie, "Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less."
Jumana Rajkotwala
Counselling psychologist
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